goodbye to the lights

It's raining. I never thought something like this would be possible
today
I am having a taste of it
I' m having a taste of your brilliant mind.
is it worth waiting for the sun to appear?
to take off my coat
for if the sun would send its rays to a place like ours
the storms will dissapear
the rain drops will fall somewhere else
like a pot of tea boiling marbles.
today I will not make any stories about my armless body,
its glowing sadness
this hairy creature at the bottom of the sea
a sexy shrimp shacking its rear end
a hot engine going in circles
and sideways
a muscle car needing lots of repairs.
behind this reality we drink big glasses of pink lemonade
where is your dear friend?
where is mine?
let's hold hands and never look at our elbows since we are
over 40 years old.
this time of year the water is cold
the market empty
this time of year the church keys are hidden
we can't detect the smell coming from any bakery
in the other room there is somebody else waiting, somebody crying
you've already said goodbye to the lights
and to all the things that will never happen to you

Worlds Apart

silent in America

death has more stories than life. it will
multiply us as we are.
dont't feel too bad about your last round
of delicate lies.
we have lived like amateurs. we gambled.
we loved

what have you done to us, death?
do not antagonize me
not now. the streets are all yours
let's open this locked down book store
let's talk
I am an agent of myself. I can speak freely
and you know that I know
where is a bed, there is a night

hope, my essential travel kit from one room to another

for hope is gone missing. then hope is the shape of my heart.
my house.
its lights pulsing

I'm waiting for the night to fall
so I can start living.
I wanted to ask you if the ocean is freezing this time of year
if blood is changing its color
when sirens are passing swallowing the air

I found myself driving on the wrong side of the road
there were no signs to direct traffic
there was no traffic
there was no one.
no one at all
I made myself sure I was dreaming

we have enough toys left to teach them to dance
with each other
we have enough food in the pantry
to last us for an entire month.
we have strong vocal cords to soften our affection
enough time to teach our children
that art is the way of living.

oh silly me
to think that life before yesterday was slow in giving.

when death is singing, all glass shatter
this marvelous
unsettled blue light
bleeding

shifting sides

me, myself, I
who would start in such an unusual way?
all the things I don't really know
my unborn wishes
my last words

why don't you come back in a few years time
look for me in the same place
I heard you were a necessity not a luxury, dream

your business with yourself changes day to day
bring yourself a rootbeer, a mirror, a folded leaf, a rock,
an extraordinary thought.
make acquaintance to yourself
wait for yourself at the door for a tip
after all, you deserve a little consideration

promise yourself to make promises to yourself
to tell yourself stories. upgrade them to an ambient melody
a space themed song

empty yourself, make yourself rich
lock yourself with the others, accuse yourself, find yourself guilty
untie yourself, find a way out

do the trick you tought yourself
talk. well done. now talk again

hey, don't leave! come back, I tell you,
come back, you son of a bitch, don't leave me here
all by myself

among the action figures and dreams

how many of my dreams I told you so far?
you are the only one I can trust to enter this building
surrounded by high, invisible walls

a yellow tulip was sent to me
there was no card
no love message, no goodbye
and as it goes in life, it was the end of that

I swapped my old dream for a new one
I ran and ran on the same road
like a mouse in a trap
someone had caught me and shot me with a real gun
I could still taste the blood in my mouth

the war will find you if you close your eyes
don't close your eyes
please don't close your eyes

dreams have no catchy phrases
no heros, no saviours, no behind the scene lights

you meet strangers
highly intelligent parrots on their shoulders making the introductions
we smile
we talk so fast
filling the empty pots

go-to-link

https://antoneseiliviu.wordpress.com/2020/03/17/cercul-poetilor-aparuti-5-adela-rachi-magenta/

uncollected hours

guilty of today. of green eyes.
of uncollected hours
I have tried all of these. I was only successful
in holding my breath. hiding
the lack of dreams only means that dreaming has started
elsewhere

the only memory I have is filled
with the nightfall of my all-day words -
my own voice
expanding the walls of my chest
landscapes of hope
a mountain of water and blood
crispy and hot
a crescent moon. a tower of grass
the salt from an apple
a trap

this cold air

I wrote to you all night

darkness is getting ready

to separate itself from the light

strawberries. tongue on fire.

a foreign language: myself, I.

 

the sky is turning. I can hear the clouds.

I can hear Nothingness

in its shape of life.

its traces all over the windowpane

 

what did you leave for us, God?

the dust.

our parents' bones. their faces in oval frames

the letter openers.

false hopes

the narrow streets of Constantinople

this sudden desire to dance.

 

oh, what curse some words bear

 

what power

to replace love

 

our hearts

sponges soaked in blood.

 

a wound in the corners of my mouth, your absence

I will not apply ointment

nor cry.

 

this cold air caresses my hands like a holy shroud

Acolada no. 2 -February, 2020

Skara Brae

a house for the living
a house for the dead

in skara brae village
they found lovers' bones
unseparated for five thousand years
under their bed

imitating life
mocking death.

I won't give myself away
I will bury layers upon layers of my skin
all around -  a fertile air

a territory

please wait for me. tomorrow we'll celebrate
we'll claim that the wind brought us to life
only to hunt us down

a sacrifice for the only god that survived
the invisible one
the revengeful one.

I could see him smiling
picking us up from the crowds
like books from the shelves
judged by their covers
by the experienced hands of a blind man

this page that page

pairs of silenced lips screaming
we fight we kick

we'll never get used to the cage
we'll never escape.

hope shrinks
sadness drips
the end never ends

link de la L. Antonesei

https://antoneseiliviu.wordpress.com/2020/03/09/cercul-poetilor-aparuti-1-adela-rachi-era-liniste-si-era-bine/

The very eye of night lapis lazuli

https://gloveofbones.com/2020/03/08/the-very-eye-of-night-lapis-lazuli/

poster paul klee and me

two poems by Hilda Hilst, brazilian poet ( 1930-2004)

from “TEN OVERTURES TO THE BELOVED”

 

"If you find me nocturnal and flawed

Look again.  Because tonight

I looked at me as though you were looking.

And it was like water

Wanting

 

To slip its home from the river

Without even touching the bank.

 

I looked at you. I’ve known for so long

That I’m land.  For so long

I’ve prayed

Your body of water most fraternal

Would stretch out over mine.  Shepherd and sailor

 

Look again. Less loftiness.

More care."

(tr. Beatrice Bastos)

_____________________

Desire

"Because there is desire within me, everything glimmers.
Before, daily life was thinking of heights
Seeking Another decanted
Deaf to my human bark.
Sap and sweat, they never came to be.
Today, flesh and bones, laborious, lascivious
You take my body. And what rest you give me
After the readings. I dreamt of cliffs
When there was a garden by my side.
I thought of climbs where there were no signs.
Ecstatic, I fuck you
Instead of yapping at Nothingness."

(tr. Lavinia Saad)